So as many of you know I am no longer able to work due to
illness and have subsequently filed for my disability which I have a hearing on
in 22 days after two denials. In both of the denials the reasoning given was
that I can still do something to the effect of “light work”. All I’ve wanted is
to be able to sit down and converse with someone to ask “what kind of work?”
Find me a job where I do not have to sit and/or stand for
long periods of time, do any kind of physical activity, where I can take
frequent breaks due to pain, discomfort or to take any of my multitudes of
medications (no less than every 2-3 hours) and miss multiple days of work when
I am having one of my “bad” days which I have at least once a week. Then state,
look if you understood the nature of my illnesses and the change that it has
caused in my life, then maybe you would think differently. I have near constant
pain, I have nausea, I get winded easily, and any kind of stress triggers my
flares which are distracting and at times debilitating. If you can find me a job
meeting all of those questions, as a minimum, then dammit sign me up for it.
Since 2007 I have taken jobs for the sake of having
employment, namely customer service and phone jobs. They are low stress for the
most part, low physicality and basically what I call my “Wal-Mart greeter”
jobs. I have already done my serious, grown-up job as an industrial hygienist
for 12 years (8 military and 4 civilian) so I felt I have earned the right to
take these kinds of jobs to coast in towards retirement or inability to work.
Well guess what, I am now unable to work and am basically retired now, not by
choice. So now, all I want to do is have someone listen to me and take me
seriously about my present state of life. Just listen!! And give me feedback.
Show me some empathy or sympathy to the extent that my condition warrants.
I have a fairly rare disease that strikes approximately 3-5
out of 100, 000 people and it is permanent and disabling, unofficially for now.
I have doctors who will attest to it. I have witnesses who have known me before
and after and can attest to how my quality of life has changed drastically.
Please just listen and take me seriously. If I could, I would work. Hell I’ve
held jobs basically since I was 15 so I’m not looking for a government hand out
or to mooch money off the government because I am too lazy to work. I can’t! I
tried and almost lost my job involuntarily (even though I was laid off and
decided at that point that it was futile to even try when taking all the
factors into consideration. I want to, but I can’t and it’s due to these
afflictions that I have. Please just take this into consideration when you
judge me and make your determination. I just want a fair shake. Is that really
too much to ask?
I know this was more of a rant than a blog entry per se but
I’ve found that writing is my catharsis and therapy to maintain as much a sense
of normalcy as I can have for the rest of my life with this crap.
Thank you for taking the time and putting up with my venting
session. Take care and have a very day.
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