The questions were posed, the
answers are below.
How do you define authenticity for yourself?
Basically, authenticity is defining, understanding and being true to who you really are, not who people or society expects or defines you to be. Plain and simple, no more, no less but it goes much deeper than most people realize. Society has set and “established” so many expectations and norms that have become commonplace that it is easy to get lost in who we think we should be versus who we should aspire to be. There are so many factors that play into this.
How we are raised plays a part but it’s not all of it. We are basically the product of how we were taught, what we experienced and most of all what we learned and interpreted from all of this. It’s not just what we know; it’s how we use it. A very mentally unstable ex of mine said one wise thing in all of our years together. There is a difference between being smart and being intelligent. Being intelligent is having knowledge, being smart is knowing how to use it. There are a lot of intelligent people in this world who have gained a lot of knowledge, but the key is knowing how to use it in relation to who you are.
Authenticity is simply about the truth and being able to handle the truth. The truth isn’t always pretty. The truth isn’t always sunshine and unicorns but to be true to ourselves we have to be ready to take the good with the not so good and understand that both are a part of who we are and that by denying either aspect is denying a part of who we are. No one is perfect and that is the hardest truth of all but in the end, all we can do is do the best we can to be the most authentic person we can be. Nothing we says we cannot try to improve those things that we see as not so favorable, but we have to make sure that we do not lose a part of ourselves in the process. Not everything in the world is good, not everything in the world is bad. The key is finding the happy balance in between and being the best person we can be. We are a product of what we have experienced and what we have overcome. We all have scars but have we have acknowledged what caused them and learned from it? We all have our triumphs and glories but have we respected what it took to bring those to us? Ultimately, as I stated in the beginning, it is knowing, understanding and being true and honest to whom we really are when we look inside ourselves.
How do you use this to be
authentic for yourself?
I have been forced, in the past 3 years, to face and deal with truths that I didn't like nor wanted to deal with or thought I ever would. I kick, I scream, I cry and I yell about it; almost daily. But when I'm done, I pick myself up, wipe away the tears, find the cat that I scared away with the yelling and say "Okay, so be it" and I figure out a game plan on how to deal with this new truth and reality. As other hurdles arise, I get knocked back down, I get back up, I assess and I move forward. Realizing, accepting, coping and progressing, sadly the past few years have brought these to the forefront with me and brought out qualities I never realized I had. Lather, rinse, repeat. The truth will never change, it is the nature of itself. People deny it, people don't want to see it, people don't want to accept it. But it is, and always will be. Authenticity is the result of these acknowledgements and acceptance and how you do it (it may be different for each of us) is how you are authentic to yourself.
I do my best to remain true and honest to the person I see in the mirror. I do my best to admit to myself that I am not perfect and may not ever be but I will try with all I have to be the best possible me that I can be. I realize that I have made mistakes and will make mistakes but each of them is a part of who I am. I am not afraid to be imperfect. I am not afraid to be flawed but I am not afraid to work hard to be the best me that I can be, the truth hurts, I feel it every day. But no pain, no gain as they say.
Look deep inside and ask yourself these questions. How would YOU answer them?
